darling, i'm no superman
by lightsthatguideus
Summary: Let's face it-he's no one's hero. But he could sure as hell try. / Derek, Karen, and a slow, slow patience. Derek/Karen, with hints of Ivy/Derek and Dev/Karen


He can't have her because he won't let himself risk inevitable fate.

There's obviously a long list of obvious reasons after that, some he's aware of and some he's not. But that's what it comes down to-they're not meant to be together. Sure, on the surface, he's the big-shot, womanizing director and she's the small-town girl who just wants to be a star, and it makes sense, but when you delve into it, they're just polar opposites-he's sour, she's sweet, he's bitter, she's cheerful, he drones, she giggles.

But there are times when he sits there, and he makes a crack (at Tom, at Julia, whoever it is), and he sees her smile, and he feels like he's accomplished something.

But he hasn't. He's nobody's hero.

* * *

When they try her for Marilyn, he thinks she's simply exquisite. Of course, Ivy's better-she knows Marilyn, she's seen Marilyn, she acts like Marilyn, she sounds like Marilyn. And Karen can't even touch that. But there's a sliver of light he sees, and he smiles at her when she sings, because she reminds him of Marilyn before Marilyn-Norma Jean, in a sense. That's how it works. Ivy is the tough, slightly drunk, but glowing Marilyn, and Karen is just Norma Jean, fresh in the city and still not totally sure of where to go.

That's why she can't be Marilyn, he thinks.

Because she's the part of Marilyn that no one got to see.

* * *

Sometimes he thinks about trying it. When he hears from the dancers that she and her boyfriend were fighting, he almost wants to be her friend. To pat her on the back, or hug her, or make her giggle by calling Dev "the frog from across the pond." But he doesn't. Because, even if Dev's the frog, Derek's certainly not the prince. Whether he's dashing or handsome, he'll always be brooding and hurtful as well.

And he can't risk that.

* * *

When he rehearses with her, he sometimes thinks she's thinking what he's thinking. That maybe they're more than the avoided stereotype that never happens-that maybe they could smile together and live together and maybe be happy, if all turns right. But then she stops looking at him, and she rolls her eyes at him (it stops being playful).

But he sees it when she croons to him, whatever the lyric-in that blonde hair, with those beautiful eyes gazing upon him. And maybe Karen's not really Marilyn. Because she's more like her than she thought.

She hides it.

* * *

The opening night, things are as they are. Ivy won't talk to him (understandably so, but she's Ivy, and she gets mad, but he knows that she'll come back, just because she can't help it.) Tom's frustrated (he's always frustrated, because he can't write worth a damn and he's afraid, in reality, of failure.) Julia's avoiding everything but has her finger in it at the same time (she won't look at Michael, talk to Michael, but she's probably thinking about Michael, Derek thinks, and even though he's not the sentimental type, he's glad that they brought him back.)

But Karen's calmed, and her eyes are suddenly shining. At one point she even looks at Derek, and she tells him how excited she is, and he smiles at her, because he sort of feel like calling her Norma.

He tells her that, and she giggles, and he kind of feels like a hero.

* * *

It's the third night, and they're a success. Like they wouldn't be. And she's kind of drunk (her boyfriend, he assumes), and she meets him in the bar of the hotel that they were all staying at. Her dancer friends are all off at some bar, and she just came back to grab some jackets that they left there.

They make conversation, and he makes her laugh again (he's addicted to that giggle, even though he also likes to stifle it). She tells him that Ivy's pretty much livid towards him, and it's his turn to laugh, even though the situation isn't all that funny.

And then it gets all damn sentimental, and she tells him about her boyfriend. He nods and gives some words of comfort, and he doesn't even remember what he said by next week. But she kisses him anyways.

But then she leaves, like a frightened deer.

Derek doesn't care. He just sips his whiskey and ponders the fact that all heroes have leading ladies.

Maybe she'll get the part for once.

* * *

_If you've seen this fic before, quick explanation-I'm going through "spring cleaning", which is my dorky code for editing all my fics. Incorrect grammar is a rasping hatred of mine, and I try my best to keep it all fixed. But, of course, my keyboard suffices (shrug.)_

_And if you've seen this fic a second time (I know, I'm frustrating) I promise this is the last repost. Ever. I know how frustrating it can be, and I promise that I'm done going through the old fics, and I'll be much more careful with my new ones._

_Hope you enjoyed it! And, you know, if you want...review?_

_-LTGU_


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